Humor: Obama Stumping Jobs Bill

Since announcing his American Jobs Act in a speech before Congress, President Obama has been traveling the country to promote the plan. Here are some of the bill's provisions:

• National television spots featuring a culturally diverse cross-section of old men yelling at viewers to get a job


• Will.i.am to record inspirational theme song for company with strongest quarterly hiring stats


• President Obama will choose one business regulation to eliminate each week by picking a numbered ball out of a basket


• Tax incentives for contractors who do shoddy work that will have to be repaired in a few years


• Extends unemployment benefits through 2016 in hopes that next administration can figure out how to make jobs


• Every company that hires a veteran receives a complimentary signed photo of Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric Shinseki


• $21 haircut tax credit for anyone with an upcoming job interview


• 308 pages in which a manic Obama simply typed "Pass this bill, right now" countless times in various typographic permutations