Zen Quotes: Humorous
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- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either; just #$!@! off and leave me alone.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and a flat tire. - It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. - Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted. - No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others. - It is far more impressive when others discover your good
qualities
without your help. - If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple
of
car payments. - Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes. - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish,
and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day. - If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it. - If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
- Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put
it back in your pocket. - Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark
side,
and it holds the universe together.
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