From Berekley

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned
... couldn't concentrate.


Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it,
so they gave me the ax.


After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.
Mainly because it was a so-so job.


Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.


I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.


Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my
life but I just didn't have the thyme.


Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
couldn't cut the mustard.


My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
noteworthy.


I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patients.


Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.


I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live
on my net income.


Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.


I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but
the work was just too draining.


I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't
up to it.


So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I
wasn't fit for the job.


Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was
shocking.


After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a
historian until I realized there was no future in it.


My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was
always the same old grind.


SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!