Humor: Obama To Create 17 New Jobs By Resigning And Finally Opening That Restaurant

From the Onion | May 21, 2010 |

ISSUE 46•20

WASHINGTON—In an effort to counter the highest unemployment
rate the nation has faced in a quarter century, Barack Obama announced
Monday that he will create 17 new jobs by resigning from the presidency
to pursue his lifelong dream of opening a cozy little down-home
restaurant just off the Galesburg, IL exit on Interstate 74.

"Now is the
time for drastic measures, and the several line-cook and serving
positions that will be generated by Barry's Place are imperative to
getting the economy back on track," said Obama, donning a white apron
over rolled-up shirtsleeves. "The hope is that this bold initiative will
demonstrate to other American business owners that it is possible to
break the cycle after they somehow get sucked into politics and things
snowball so fast that they lose sight of what's really important, like
serving people the best slice of pecan pie they've ever tasted at a
price that can't be beat." Vice President Joe Biden has reportedly
followed Obama's entrepreneurial lead by purchasing a secondhand cologne
and condom vending machine that will be installed in the men's bathroom
of a Wilmington, DE offtrack betting parlor.