Top 10 Funniest One-Liners on the Internet

From:  One-Linerz

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

4. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

5. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

6. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

7. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

8. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

9. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.