Answers to Interview Questions

You will not see answers like these in your favorite interview
books. 

by Steve
Amoia

On 19 July 2005, this article with referenced in the e-newsletter of Asktheheadhunter.com®.

We have all gone through the inevitable interview process
that seemingly evaluates the wrong qualities. If we were asked the right
questions, we would all be spared this nonsense. The meeting should be about the
work at hand. Show what you can do, instead
of answering questions of nominal value.

Please Note:

• Most, but not all of these questions, have been asked of me at some
  point in the past. Names will remain confidential to protect the guilty parties... ;-)

1. Where do you see yourself in five years?



Alive... ;-) Do you keep people here for five years? Will you be in business five years
from now?  I hope to be five years wiser. 



2. Why are manhole covers round?



Why are condoms shaped liked tubes? I have no idea, and have never lost sleep thinking
about this. How does this determine my value to the bottom line of a company that is not
in the construction industry? Or does it tell you about my analytical abilities because a
major software company uses queries such as this to weed out undesirables? Why don't you
give me something real to analyze in your own business?



3. What is your greatest strength and weakness?



My greatest strength is knowing what areas that I need to improve. Once you label
something a weakness, in my humble opinion, you can not change it. We all have areas to improve, and they should
remain private challenges. Although as my employer, I would welcome any input that you
would have to improve myself. Which would make me a better person, and make yours a more
profitable company.



4. What is your salary history?



What is yours? What did the last person make in this job with a similar skill set? Do you
play lowball or hardball? I can't work for anyone unless I know their salary history.
If I were a guy coming into the NBA out of high school or college, would you base my value
upon my "salary history" of working at low-paying jobs? Or not having a job at
all? No, you would pay the market rate for my services. Salary history should be
confidential. I never knew what my parents or relatives earned, and was smart enough not
to ask. Your past earnings should not determine your future paycheck. Your value differs
from one company to the next.

The problem is that HR or hiring authorities believe that they have
the right to inquire about our salary histories, and base our value on what someone
else thought we were worth. Most of us, myself included, have fallen into this trap and
answered the question. Or this query is often used as a screening tool. As in "She
costs too much. We can't afford her." How many candidates and employers miss out on
great opportunities because of this illogical stance?

When you go to a restaurant, does the server ask, "I really
need to know what you paid for your last meal. Then we'll know what to charge you?"
If anyone has ever asked you that, dinner is on me. And do you leave a tip based
upon your service at the last restaurant? 



5. Why should I hire you?



Because you would not want me working for your competition. Whether it was internal or
external. The same reason that I would hire you.



6. Why don't you answer questions like other applicants? You seem like someone I
wouldn't like to work with or who would be "difficult?"



If difficult is being different, than you are correct. I don't want to answer questions
that have no bearing on my ability to do a job or to solve your problems. I want to
discuss my work, the challenges that face your team, and how I can help you meet your
goals. Not the hundred or thousand most asked interview questions. I can't control if you
don't like me. You shouldn't hire somebody because they can answer non-job related
questions well. You should hire someone who provides solutions to your problems. That is
what work is all about, right? Do any of us interview on a daily basis? Is there a
job description or title for "interviewee?" I surely don't want it.  

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7. What is your dream job?



General manager of a professional soccer team. In the next life, obviously... ;-)



8. What would your last boss say about you?



My boss? That person has not been born yet... ;-) I wrote resumes and provided references
for my last two supervisors. I was fortunate to work for very talented individuals. They
probably would say, "Hire him. But don't ask him where he will be in five
years, his strengths and weaknesses, or his salary history."



9. If you could meet one person, who would it be?



Salma Hayek. ;-) Jokes aside, either His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, Pelé, or His
Royal
Highness, Prince Albert II of Monaco.



10. How old are you, and what kind of name is "Amoia?"



Old enough to know that you aren't supposed to ask me.

My name? I would like to think that it is an honorable name. My
people came over here on a boat. But it wasn't the Santa Maria, the Mayflower, the
Amistad, the Bounty, a U-Boat, a Viking explorer, an Indian canoe, a Chinese Junk, the
Beagle, or the QEII. Actually, one of my ancestors arrived on these shores on a
French ship called, "The Madonna." Not to be confused with the singer... ;-) But
you will find Amoias wherever the sun rises and sets in this world. In North America,
Europe, South America, Australia, and there is a town named after us on Papua, New Guinea. In the
Galicia region of Spain, there is a river called Amoia. Someone once told
me that the name means "charisma" in Hawaiian. How is that for diversity? We are
citizens of the world. Not "Hispanic, Caucasian, Native American, Asian, Pacific
Islander, Middle Eastern, African American, or "Other."



11. Can you show me your best writing?



No, but I can show you my portfolio. My best work is always ahead of me.

12. Why did you leave your last job?

Because when the painting is finished, you shouldn't stick around to
admire the view.

13. I want to hire you, since you "did the job" in the
interview. Never saw that before. But I will need at least three references, a credit
check, a criminal background investigation, a drug screening, a polygraph test, a hair
sample, and a handwriting analysis. I'm certain that you can appreciate that we don't want
to make a costly mistake. You aren't hiding anything? Never been in trouble, right?

Did President Bush go through all of that for his job? I
appreciate that you don't want to make a costly mistake. Me either. So I will need three
references, a credit check, a criminal background investigation, a drug screening, a
polygraph test, and a handwriting analysis of your CEO and my direct supervisor. The good
looking administrative assistant can provide the hair sample. ;-) Oh, and one other thing. Are you hiding anything
and have you ever been in trouble?

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14. What is your position on gays in the military? Tort reform,
you know, too many frivolous lawsuits by lawyers trying to make big bucks? Separation of
Church and State? How would you feel working for an a**hole like me? There are no right
answers, Steve, I just want to see how you respond.

If I were in a fox hole, I would not ask if the pilot flying above
who was trying to kill our enemy were gay or straight. I understood the word "tort
reform." The only thing we need to reform are the frivolous lawyers who clog the
legal system with these actions... Regarding religion, I find it ironic that our public
currency says "In God We Trust." Perhaps "In Greenspan We Trust" would
be more applicable. Nobody has ever asked me your last question. I'll need to
think awhile about that one, Sir. But  I appreciate your candor and honesty...

15. I see you are wearing a red and black tie? (A question from
an Italian native.) Who is your favorite soccer team? Juventus! (Their colors are black
and white.)  You can't wear the Milan colors in your tie. That means you like both
teams. That is blaspheme. They are bitter rivals.

Well, I have seen the pressure interview. The group interview. The
psychological interview. The New Age interview. And now the European elitist interview...

We are in America. Not in your country. Besides, I read
John Molloy's "Dress for Success." At least I am wearing a tie, unlike you.

 ;-) Blaspheme? I'll call my family priest right now. Maybe he can exorcise
me, or give me Linda Blair's phone number. Did you know that His Holiness, Pope
John Paul II, was a Liverpool fan? I guess he should have worn red (Liverpool
are known as "The Reds") instead of his white vestments? Blaspheme...

16. Are you loyal to your boss and the company that employs you?

Strange thing about loyalty. It is expected from the bottom of an
organization, but rarely at the top. Thousands of workers are laid off as if they never
existed. Who was loyal to them? Perhaps we can ask Bernard Ebbers of WorldComm, Ken Lay of
Enron (before his death), and the Rigas father and son team from Adelphia about
loyalty to their employees and shareholders. To answer your question, I am as
loyal as Luca Brazi was to Don Corleone, unfortunately.

17. If you could be an animal, which one would you choose?

Hopefully, not one in the gunsights of those guys wearing bright
orange vests, funny hats, and large numbers on their backs. But let's see. If I
lived in North America, I would be an eagle. In South America, a wild horse in the Pampas.
In Australia, a koala bear. In Africa, a cheetah. In the Artic Circle, a Siberian Husky.
In Europe, a fox. In the deserts of Arabia, a camel. In the South Pacific, a dolphin. (I
believe they are found there.) In the Himalayas, a yak.

Now Ms. Interviewer, how do I bring out the animal in you? ;-)

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18. The job requirements stipulate a degree in English. This is a
government contractor. We must adhere to their wishes. Your tech writing experience, while
important, is not the same, either. You have a college degree, but English was not your
major. Is there anything else that I can do for you today?

Yes, there is. Pretend I am Ernest Hemingway. Pretty good
writer, wouldn't you agree? "Yes, he certainly used the language well. But what
is your point?" According to your criteria, you could not hire him. Ernest
Hemingway did not major in English. "Oh, I didn't know that, what was his
major?" None. He never went to college, and your client will never know what
they passed up due to such stringent "criteria." Not to mention many other
talented writers who could do this job, and deliver it at a profit. By the way,
where did William Shakespeare go to University? Or Frederick Douglass? Two men
who had an excellent command of the King's English. But no English degree...
Either you can explain something to the target audience, which is the basis for
technical writing, or you can't. It is very simple. No degree can certify that
ability. Writing samples can.

All the best wishes,

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Steve Amoia

Copyright © 2005-2006 by Steve
Amoia. All rights reserved.