While preparing for a workshop on the Afflictive Emotions and the Job Search for the Westford Job Seeker's Network, I ran across Roz Savage's blog and how she found her destiny. Roz found herself in a management consulting career for 11 years, although she knew from Day 1 that this was not the career she wanted.
Married, with a mortgage, and an unhappy career, one day Roz did something brilliant. She wrote her obituary. Actually, she wrote two obituaries. The first was an obituary worth reading - the she wanted. It was a story of spectacular successes and failures. The second was the one for the path she was on. It was traditional, humdrum, and not inspiring. She wasn't impulsive and immediately jumped tracks. No, she thought and considered the two obituaries, and watched as the first one kept calling her, inspiring her, exciting her, and calling her in a new direction.
This simple act led her down the path to what she really wanted to do. It changed her life. She left her job, got divorced, and began doing what she really wanted.
She rowed solo across the Pacific Ocean, the Atlantic Ocean, and is currently planning to row across the Indian Ocean. She'll be the only woman to have rowed across all three oceans. What an amazing and different life.
At the Westford session I invited the participants to write their own obituaries, following Roz's lead. People shared their most important aspects and revealed their intentions for what they really wanted from life, their careers, and their futures. In doing so, they were helping to clarify what they really want to do. I can't say if their obituaries will stick like Roz's and lead them down a different path. But I do know, that when you choose a path you care about - the world has a way of orienting around it and helping make it happen. I've seen it again and again with job seekers.
You deserve a life well-lived. You deserve to be happy and to work at a great place to work. If you can't find it - you can create it. It is absolutely possible. I'm not saying you should row across an ocean. We are all different. But do this exercise.
- Find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted and have at least a half an hour. Take a pencil and paper and sit. Breathe for a minute. Do not rush. Clear your mind. Pause.
- Breathe in and begin writing your obituary - the one for the life you want. Be free. Be creative. Write about your accomplishments, how you did special things, your impact on others and the world. No one's going to see it except you. Feel free to edit it liberally and improve upon it generously. Give yourself enough time, and when you are finished, don't think about it. Just sit peacefully and clear your mind. Again, focus on your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out.
- Breathe in and begin writing your second obituary - based on your life to date. Focus on your accomplishments and relationships. Avoid being critical and getting down on yourself. I've never seen an obituary that said, "He was a jerk to all people," "She wasn't a very hard worker and couldn't really hold a job for more than 6 months," or "He never found a job he cared about." Instead, focus on your pluses and what would be in the obituary. Give yourself time to reflect on all the important things that you have done. Your numerous accomplishments and how you helped others. Be kind and honest. Give yourself enough time, and when you are finished, don't think about it. Just sit peacefully and clear your mind. Again, focus on your breathing. Breathe in, breathe out.
- After a pause, hold your two obituaries side by side and look at them. Don't judge them. Just notice them. Read them. Listen to what they are saying. And as you look at them notice anything that draws your interest, your passion, your deepest intent and desire. Still, don't attach to these feelings, just try to notice them.
- Put the two obituaries in a safe place where no one is likely to encounter them. Leave them there. Go back to living your life, looking for a job. What's going to happen, if what you wrote is what you want, it will follow you. You don't have to do anything more. Your destiny will bring you to it.