I just got a rejection letter from the one interview I thought I aced! How do I handle the disappointment?

From GoHow.com

I just happen to be spending some time with my extended family this week when I received your question. I decided to ask my 12 year old niece how she thinks I should answer the question. I thought it might be enlightening to get her perspective since her father was out of work for a while until just recently and she had to live through this first hand. Here are her ideas for dealing with the ups and downs of job searching and for how to “get back in the saddle”.

12 Tips from a wise 12 year old for how to handle job interview rejection (in her words):

1. It’s okay to mope around a little, but not too much time – because the time that you are moping is the time you could be spending looking for a job.
2. As you get going again – use a different strategy to find the next job to apply for. If you applied on-line for the one you interviewed for, this time see if your friends on Facebook can refer you to openings they know about.
3. Reward yourself a little for at least getting the chance to interview.
4. Every interview you go on is one job closer the one you will get.
5. Don’t be rude to the company that turns you down, because they might have another job opening that you might be even more interested in, (especially, be sure you don’t say anything bad on your Facebook site because employers can check your Facebook site too.)
6. Find a hobby or something that you like to do, to keep your mind off of getting turned down. Then ask the people you meet while doing your hobby if they have any ideas for you.
7. Try to figure out why the interviewer didn’t pick you and try to fix that before your next interview.
8. Surround yourself with friends and family that will keep you positive and remind you about all the good things you can do.
9. Keep looking there are thousands of job search sites and open jobs.
10. Don’t take it personally.
11. Be sure to finish your Education. The better jobs are given to those who have a Bachelors Degree.
12. Sometimes you just have to take any job you can get just to keep working. It shows other employers that you are hardworking, dependable and that you want to be working.

I was pretty impressed with this list coming from a 12 year old. One of the most important things I have learned over my years of coaching employees through job loss is that everyone you know can be of help to you. Even our children can provide a perspective from which we might derive new ideas or a comforting thought.

When it comes to getting turned down, turning to those who care about us is a good strategy. Handling difficult times often sends us to a corner to “hide” alone or shelter ourselves from having to deal with uncomfortable comments from others and/or additional tough issues. While somewhat natural or “automatic”, this reaction doesn’t usually serve us. Confiding in and leaning on our support system of friends and family is exactly what there is to do. Being open to others perspectives about the situation can help us stay grounded about the facts and guard us against our own negative self talk. Looking at the situation objectively can also provide us with the information we need to be able to learn from the experience.

So, what can you learn from this experience? Is it to take more time next interview to really “read” the interviewer to get a realistic impression of how well the interview is going? Maybe, it is to do a better job of asking questions in the interview that require direct feedback from the interviewer – such as:

• “Did I answer your questions the way you wanted me too?”
• “Is there any additional information I can provide to help make your choice clear that I am the one you need?”
• “How do I compare to my competition for this job?”
• “Do you see any deficiencies in my skills or background that concern you?”

I know these questions sound like they would put the interviewer on the spot, however, these are the types of questions that will help you elicit the “honest” impression the interviewer has made about your time spent with them. The answers to these questions will give you the opportunity to get clarification or a chance to provide additional information that should put the interviewers’ “fears” aside.

In the end, learning from the experience will help you become a stronger interviewee for the next interview. I agree with my niece, every interview is one step closer to securing the job that is really the right job for you. So take a little time off, shake it off, and then get back to job searching with a renewed attitude, for it is the next interview that could be the best interview!