Improving Introverts' Chances in the Job Market
In my previous post, I discussed the challenges for shy (or introverted)
people in the job market. I offered some general advice, but in this
post I'd like to highlight ten things you can do (or think about) that
might give you the edge in the very situations you prefer to avoid.
1.
First, stop apologizing for being who you are. Work with it-- find your
strengths and get to know them so well that they are all you think of
when you are in the interview. You may never be comfortable in certain
settings-- but you can learn to function well in them, and then you can
go home where you are comfortable. A small amount of discomfort and pain
and "faking it" can go a long way. You are who you are-- which means
you are talented in a lot of areas and you can learn to extravert
yourself when needed.
So after an interview, networking event, or any other extraverted
activity don't be too hard on yourself. Don't over-analyze your
situation and hyper-focus on those moments that make you cringe.
3.
Focus on your successes. What have you done well? What are the 3
strengths you want an employer to know about you? How can you craft
those strengths into a story that an interviewer might want to hear? I
know many introverts who tell wonderful, clever stories. It's that
anxiety/audience thing that keeps you from telling them. The more you
know about your strengths, the less you'll be tempted to focus on your
challenges.
At the same time, it's OK to mention that you
tend to have an understated style -- in fact that can be a great
response to the typical "what is your weakness?" question. You can say
something like "I tend to have an understated style and people don't
always know what I'm thinking. So I have learned to make sure I give my
feedback explicitly when needed, and encourage people to ask me if I
haven't been clear. For instance, if you have any questions for me or if
I haven't answered something clearly I hope you will ask me to clarify
it." You could also mention that you don't tend to over-talk in
situations and make a point of listening to all opinions before you make
a decision.
4. Rehearse. In front of a mirror, with a friend, using
your computer's webcam (eeewww...I know you probably don't like being
recorded but do it anyway.) See, the more you do something, the less
foreign and the less nerve-wracking it is. If you tell your interview
stories to the mirror, then to the webcam, then to a friend you are not
only rehearsing and improving the story, but you are also decreasing
your stress
level.
5. Practice mindfulness
meditation.
The world can be particularly stressful for introverts and you need to
detox in a healthy way. It's not unusual for introverts to experience
anxiety, and mindfulness meditation has been shown to be one of the best
ways to handle stress. A few minutes of mindfulness breathing before
the interview can be a big help. I highly recommend anything by Jon
Kabat-Zinn, particularly his book "Full Catastrophe Living."
6.
Keep in mind that most introverts do well in a one-on-one relationship,
which is how most job interviews are conducted. You might get tired or
overwhelmed when you have several interviews in a row (for instance when
on-site for an all-day interview), so take a break and practice a
minute or two of mindfulness meditation.
7. Medium-size groups can
be challenging for an introvert, so if you're facing a group interview,
try focusing on one person at a time. Pay attention to the person
asking the question (try not to be distracted by what someone else might
be doing) and make sure you answer their question while making eye
contact with everyone in the room. Resist a tendency to always look at
the primary person while ignoring the other faces in the room. Find the
friendly face-- there's usually at least one in the interview room.
8.
Always follow up the interview with a thank-you note. It's not unusual
to realize after an interview that you should have told the interviewer
something you forgot, so use the note as your chance to bring this up.
But don't bring it up by writing, "I misspoke" or "I may not have
explained this..."-- rather write something like, "I just wanted to add a
point to my response about..." Choose your comments wisely. Don't
restate or correct everything you said in the interview! Just pick one
thing (two at most) that you want to clarify. Otherwise, spend the note
reiterating the connection between you and the position, what you
learned, and how you're looking forward to the opportunity to work for
their company.
9. Prepare for networking events by planning ahead:
you're probably not that comfortable with the small talk at these
events. Start by finding a comfortable setting-- like the small tables
often set up around the room. You can always talk about the food with
whomever is at the table. Many introverts have strong passions and can
talk about them when with like-minded people. So make it an experiment
when you meet someone to see what you have in common. Focus on likely
commonalities like TV shows or music. Read a newspaper on the day of the
event. Check the headlines for interesting events people might want to
talk about. Have some conversation starters ready-- media is always a
good start-- TV, movies, music, sports. One of the best books about
networking is Keith Ferrazi's Never Eat Alone.
10.
Play to your strengths. If you're better online than in person, take
advantage of online networking opportunities like LinkedIn, Facebook,
and any internet-based gatherings of professionals in your field. Many
valuable relationships have been formed, and many jobs have been
acquired solely through online networking.
Finally, while
introversion may be an innate trait,
social skills and appropriate networking and interviewing behavior can
be learned by anyone. Find yourself a coach who will help you practice
for your interviews and for networking situations.